Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
