I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
