none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
