he wants to bone in the snuggie
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
