did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
