I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
