somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just puked most of my soul out..
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize