What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize