I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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