I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
