How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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