Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You are the jesus of drinking
Bring me that man meat
Randomize
