if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
