you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
