the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
