Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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