please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
