She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
