Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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