I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
