i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
