you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
