There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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