who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
