The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
