Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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