felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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