party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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