please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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