why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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