This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
