Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
