I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
