I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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