do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
