There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
