How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
