Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
