Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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