He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
