Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
