you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
