Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
