I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
