I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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