he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize