Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
