everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
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