She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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