2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Someone shattered a urinal.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
