my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
