Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
