Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
