Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize