Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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