your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
