Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize