adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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