Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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