I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
