I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
