Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
